Sunday fun day

My brother surprised me today!! My mom, Eva and my brother came up and hung out with me and my hubby today. Such a fun little party we had :)

Tonight one of the nurses asked if I would talk to another woman pregnant with mono mono twins who was here touring the hospital. She lives south of here and said she hasn't been able to find a doctor who would keep her as a patient because she was too high risk and the doctors in her area don't deliver in a hospital that has a NICU of the caliber needed for our type of pregnancy.
I couldn't believe that. I am so lucky to have the doctors that I do. My OB & my perinatologist have been so wonderful to me. She was 20 weeks along and expecting to be hospitalized in about a month.
I can't imagine being 20 weeks and not having a steady doctor.
Then I said that Tuesday will be 1 month that I've been here and the nurse was like really? Wow that went by fast.. Hahah ya sure.

Goodnight! Xoxo

Oh, the things people say....

Fridays don't seem to be a great day for me. So after a bad Thursday night and Friday morning of tears and no sleep, the guy who delivers fresh linens and checks my refrigerator temp lingered a little too long in my room, scoping out the pictures that Eva printed out for me- our last Christmas card photos. He apparently thinks he's funny and while looking at the pictures says, "you look a lot skinnier in these pictures, hehe" to which I replied, "ya carrying 2 babies and being on bed rest for the last 4 months might do that to ya" thanks for the boost of confidence pal. Given my emotional state that morning, that comment hit me a little hard. Luckily, my parents came up and brought dinner which was a very nice treat. We took a nice field trip down to the court yard for some fresh air, but dad always has his eye on the clock in order to make sure I'm back in the room before my 30 minute allotted wheelchair privilege is up :)


I'm also pretty sure my specialist is worried about me lol. Lately, I haven't been sleeping too well, so I don't look that great in the early mornings when he comes in. He's used to seeing me in his office looking very presentable and in the beginning of my hospital stay, I was usually up and dressed with some cover up on my face...but lately he's lucky if I've brushed my teeth or my hair before he comes in. I'm just too tired to really care about my appearance @ 8am. He keeps asking if I'm ok or if everything is alright, and to let him know if I ever need anything. Which for him, is equivalent to about an hour of therapy time- he just isn't one to usually go beyond the scientific facts of our pregnancy. I think he's coming around with me :) he also has 3 daughters, so I think he has a soft spot somewhere in there! Before I went to see him, so many people warned me about how dry he was and his lack of bedside manner, but we've had such a great experience with him. He's so attentive to us, I really like and appreciate him. I think it's because he likes my husband and thinks he has a cool job lol, again - everyone lovessss Dallas ;) my better half.

So I slept better last night, and woke up a little before my new nurse came in around 7. She walks in and squats down next to my bed, a little too close to my personal space & as if she's talking to a toddler in a stroller and says "I'll let you sleep a little longer and come back" am I crazy or was that completely unnecessary??! If you open my door and it looks like I'm sleeping, I don't think we need to be introduced at that moment.  And you'll "LET" me sleep??? First of all if the sun is up, I can't go back to sleep. Secondly, I'm in my third trimester with twins - yes, please "LET" me sleep.
So she comes back in around 830 to bring my breakfast tray in (gross -so over this food) and I am sitting up in the bed- she squats again and is right in my face- am I on candid camera??! Or boiling point?? Haha what is going on here? So awkward. She sets my tray down next to the window and sees all the beautiful flowers I have there and says, "oh you have like a flower garden, kind of sad because it shows how long you've been here"
So then she comes back in after breakfast and I'm dressed and sitting in the chair, and she walks in and says "aww look at you, all dressed up with no where to go" hahahaha is this really happening? What's with the one liners lady? Thank goodness I slept for more than 3 hours last night and can just laugh today instead of breaking down.  She's very sweet and did a great job making my bed this morning; I think sometimes people just don't realize how they say things - I'm pretty sure I've been guilty of that a time or two ;)

During my monitoring session, she said "oh these babies are so happy!" So that made up for everything. :) love my happy, strong hearted girls!

Photos

Just wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures my friend Yoly (perfect picture photography) took for us. I will cherish these forever. Can't wait for her to take photos of the girls!

 

The BIG 3-0

30 weeks just sounds better, doesn't it?  Not much to report today, babies did well this morning & just waiting on the night nurse to monitor me now.  Feeling SO stuffed. Every ounce of liquid/food just adds to my discomfort.  Hard to believe I could be growing for another month...ouch.
My favorite part of this weeks comparison is the part that says my babies are strong enough to grip my finger. I can't wait to love on these precious girls.

My hubby took me for a ride outside; it was a beautiful evening. When I'm outside I feel like I can breathe easier. It was a very refreshing field trip. Good night y'all xoxo. 

Wednesday-waiting on tomorrow...

"Amy these dates we commemorate - I get it! Noone else does. Friends do not understand why it is memorable...the date we first stepped into the inpatient world - 1 step closer to meeting our babies, and yet still living in a limbo land of the unknown future. The long long days of inpatient stretching before us like eternity. I too so vividly remember that very day, that very moment. The tiny room, the feeling of isolation and confinement...it was so overwhelming. I was very emotional and honestly didnt know how I would get through it. And here we are - on the other side....changed indeed. hugs to you!!!"

This was a woman's post on a momo twins support group. Just makes me realize how delicate and special this pregnancy really is. It is so nice to read other momo mama's comments because no one else can relate to you. I can't tell you the amount of times I've tried explaining my pregnancy to other people and there are so many people who just don't understand. Which is understandable :) I knew nothing about twins before this pregnancy, only that there were identical and fraternal. When I tell people the girls are in the same sac, I get these FAQ's...
"aren't all twins in the same sac?" No.  Less than 1% are.
"why do you have to be in the hospital if everything looks fine?"  Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. I am here to be monitored daily for decelerations in the girls' heart rates which would indicate a problem and need for emergency delivery.
"When are you due" lol this is the most frustrating question for me because there has never been a due date for my pregnancy and it always leads to a long and confusing conversation. There is no way to plan, or expect a certain date like other pregnancies.  I mean it when I say - things could change in an instant.  My due date was originally December 5th if that makes you feel better :) If our girls continue down this wonderful path of great monitoring sessions, I will most likely deliver around 34 weeks which would be October 24th.  My doctors haven't discussed a scheduled delivery date with me yet, because although 4 weeks seems so soon, that is a lot of time for unforeseen complications. I will be 30 weeks tomorrow and I could not be happier about that. Every single day I still hold my breath and pray to get through these nights just for one more day. So you can imagine how big of an accomplishment each week of a gestational anniversary is.
"How long will you be in the hospital" until the girls are delivered
"How long will they be in the NICU" until they are strong enough to come home
-- this was probably the hardest thing for me to take in. I remember crying every day thinking of delivering and then having my babies taken and not being able to immediately hold them after this long and scary journey. And still- just talking about life after delivery feels like counting your chickens before the eggs hatch. I felt guilty having a baby shower so early - I was scared to have the cribs purchased and set up - I was hesitant to have things monogrammed - what if something goes wrong? Then I feel guilt and shame for even having feelings of "what if".
("Expect miracles" "patience and persistence" "believe and you shall receive")
so thank you to each and every person who has celebrated both our daughters and have not hesitated to expect these little miracles to be our little survivors. It means more to me than you will ever know.

Poppy said to me...In the grand scheme of things this will be the first of many sacrifices you two will make for your family... And that couldn't be any more true. I immediately thought of my parents and our families and all of the sacrifices everyone has made for me and for Dallas and just thought - ya I guess "resting" for a couple of months won't seem so bad later on :)
Oh but this over analytical mind of mine never "rests"...

So looking forward to my dinner date with my handsome husband tonight. We're staying in ;)

3 weeks, 21 days, 504 hours - but who's counting?!

I am! My OB says the babies look good, and actually pretty big for their gestational age which is great since I will most likely be delivering around 34 weeks- that is if everything continues to go smoothly.

Cheers to 3 weeks inpatient! Sparkling cider, who knew how fun that could be?! I forgot how much I love my stemware! Thank you Holly!

2 nights ago, I barely slept. I could NOT get comfortable. These babies were in positions that were putting so much pressure on me and they felt like 10lb babies! I woke up the next morning (yesterday) and I was thinking my belly looked like it grew another baby or something; I felt huge. My ribs feel bruised from these growing girls that keep kicking their mama! Here's a picture of me from yesterday morning and then this morning. I can't believe how much of a difference I noticed from the way they were positioned. Their new trick is hiccups.  I remember when I was so excited to start feeling them move/kick inside, then I was excited to be able to see & feel their movements from the outside. Now it's feeling their hiccups. I just keep trying to soak in all these milestones and cherish every moment of this pregnancy.  I really can't believe there are 2 baby girls growing inside of me. It truly is a miracle.

Tuesdays with Daddy...
Just some R&R and a little wheelchair ride. Always a good time.

Last but not least, my husband put together the girls' cribs last night! I'm so excited. Just wish I could be there to finish the decorating. Look at my Diesel boy, he's going to be the best big brother!

Happy Fall Y'all!!!

 How handsome is my only son?! I love this pup and his dirty face. I miss them SO much.

Our baby girls are still tracing well on the monitors so we continue to be very thankful for that!

My hubby was finally feeling better and came by first thing this morning which immediately made me feel great. He was able to be here for our first monitor session and hear his baby girls. 

Then my mom and aunt Bobbie came over for lunch and helped move me back into my original room. 3 nights ago they moved me next door to do some re-wiring for their new computer systems and I have felt completely turned around. Every one liked the old room better, including me. So mom and Aunt Bobbie moved me back today so now I'm feeling back to normal. I also got a mani & pedi from my mom today which was great! 

I was able to take another wheelchair ride down stairs. Good day all around. Thanks to my favorite ladies for making my day! Xoxo