Sunday fun day

My brother surprised me today!! My mom, Eva and my brother came up and hung out with me and my hubby today. Such a fun little party we had :)

Tonight one of the nurses asked if I would talk to another woman pregnant with mono mono twins who was here touring the hospital. She lives south of here and said she hasn't been able to find a doctor who would keep her as a patient because she was too high risk and the doctors in her area don't deliver in a hospital that has a NICU of the caliber needed for our type of pregnancy.
I couldn't believe that. I am so lucky to have the doctors that I do. My OB & my perinatologist have been so wonderful to me. She was 20 weeks along and expecting to be hospitalized in about a month.
I can't imagine being 20 weeks and not having a steady doctor.
Then I said that Tuesday will be 1 month that I've been here and the nurse was like really? Wow that went by fast.. Hahah ya sure.

Goodnight! Xoxo

Oh, the things people say....

Fridays don't seem to be a great day for me. So after a bad Thursday night and Friday morning of tears and no sleep, the guy who delivers fresh linens and checks my refrigerator temp lingered a little too long in my room, scoping out the pictures that Eva printed out for me- our last Christmas card photos. He apparently thinks he's funny and while looking at the pictures says, "you look a lot skinnier in these pictures, hehe" to which I replied, "ya carrying 2 babies and being on bed rest for the last 4 months might do that to ya" thanks for the boost of confidence pal. Given my emotional state that morning, that comment hit me a little hard. Luckily, my parents came up and brought dinner which was a very nice treat. We took a nice field trip down to the court yard for some fresh air, but dad always has his eye on the clock in order to make sure I'm back in the room before my 30 minute allotted wheelchair privilege is up :)


I'm also pretty sure my specialist is worried about me lol. Lately, I haven't been sleeping too well, so I don't look that great in the early mornings when he comes in. He's used to seeing me in his office looking very presentable and in the beginning of my hospital stay, I was usually up and dressed with some cover up on my face...but lately he's lucky if I've brushed my teeth or my hair before he comes in. I'm just too tired to really care about my appearance @ 8am. He keeps asking if I'm ok or if everything is alright, and to let him know if I ever need anything. Which for him, is equivalent to about an hour of therapy time- he just isn't one to usually go beyond the scientific facts of our pregnancy. I think he's coming around with me :) he also has 3 daughters, so I think he has a soft spot somewhere in there! Before I went to see him, so many people warned me about how dry he was and his lack of bedside manner, but we've had such a great experience with him. He's so attentive to us, I really like and appreciate him. I think it's because he likes my husband and thinks he has a cool job lol, again - everyone lovessss Dallas ;) my better half.

So I slept better last night, and woke up a little before my new nurse came in around 7. She walks in and squats down next to my bed, a little too close to my personal space & as if she's talking to a toddler in a stroller and says "I'll let you sleep a little longer and come back" am I crazy or was that completely unnecessary??! If you open my door and it looks like I'm sleeping, I don't think we need to be introduced at that moment.  And you'll "LET" me sleep??? First of all if the sun is up, I can't go back to sleep. Secondly, I'm in my third trimester with twins - yes, please "LET" me sleep.
So she comes back in around 830 to bring my breakfast tray in (gross -so over this food) and I am sitting up in the bed- she squats again and is right in my face- am I on candid camera??! Or boiling point?? Haha what is going on here? So awkward. She sets my tray down next to the window and sees all the beautiful flowers I have there and says, "oh you have like a flower garden, kind of sad because it shows how long you've been here"
So then she comes back in after breakfast and I'm dressed and sitting in the chair, and she walks in and says "aww look at you, all dressed up with no where to go" hahahaha is this really happening? What's with the one liners lady? Thank goodness I slept for more than 3 hours last night and can just laugh today instead of breaking down.  She's very sweet and did a great job making my bed this morning; I think sometimes people just don't realize how they say things - I'm pretty sure I've been guilty of that a time or two ;)

During my monitoring session, she said "oh these babies are so happy!" So that made up for everything. :) love my happy, strong hearted girls!

Photos

Just wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures my friend Yoly (perfect picture photography) took for us. I will cherish these forever. Can't wait for her to take photos of the girls!

 

The BIG 3-0

30 weeks just sounds better, doesn't it?  Not much to report today, babies did well this morning & just waiting on the night nurse to monitor me now.  Feeling SO stuffed. Every ounce of liquid/food just adds to my discomfort.  Hard to believe I could be growing for another month...ouch.
My favorite part of this weeks comparison is the part that says my babies are strong enough to grip my finger. I can't wait to love on these precious girls.

My hubby took me for a ride outside; it was a beautiful evening. When I'm outside I feel like I can breathe easier. It was a very refreshing field trip. Good night y'all xoxo. 

Wednesday-waiting on tomorrow...

"Amy these dates we commemorate - I get it! Noone else does. Friends do not understand why it is memorable...the date we first stepped into the inpatient world - 1 step closer to meeting our babies, and yet still living in a limbo land of the unknown future. The long long days of inpatient stretching before us like eternity. I too so vividly remember that very day, that very moment. The tiny room, the feeling of isolation and confinement...it was so overwhelming. I was very emotional and honestly didnt know how I would get through it. And here we are - on the other side....changed indeed. hugs to you!!!"

This was a woman's post on a momo twins support group. Just makes me realize how delicate and special this pregnancy really is. It is so nice to read other momo mama's comments because no one else can relate to you. I can't tell you the amount of times I've tried explaining my pregnancy to other people and there are so many people who just don't understand. Which is understandable :) I knew nothing about twins before this pregnancy, only that there were identical and fraternal. When I tell people the girls are in the same sac, I get these FAQ's...
"aren't all twins in the same sac?" No.  Less than 1% are.
"why do you have to be in the hospital if everything looks fine?"  Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be. I am here to be monitored daily for decelerations in the girls' heart rates which would indicate a problem and need for emergency delivery.
"When are you due" lol this is the most frustrating question for me because there has never been a due date for my pregnancy and it always leads to a long and confusing conversation. There is no way to plan, or expect a certain date like other pregnancies.  I mean it when I say - things could change in an instant.  My due date was originally December 5th if that makes you feel better :) If our girls continue down this wonderful path of great monitoring sessions, I will most likely deliver around 34 weeks which would be October 24th.  My doctors haven't discussed a scheduled delivery date with me yet, because although 4 weeks seems so soon, that is a lot of time for unforeseen complications. I will be 30 weeks tomorrow and I could not be happier about that. Every single day I still hold my breath and pray to get through these nights just for one more day. So you can imagine how big of an accomplishment each week of a gestational anniversary is.
"How long will you be in the hospital" until the girls are delivered
"How long will they be in the NICU" until they are strong enough to come home
-- this was probably the hardest thing for me to take in. I remember crying every day thinking of delivering and then having my babies taken and not being able to immediately hold them after this long and scary journey. And still- just talking about life after delivery feels like counting your chickens before the eggs hatch. I felt guilty having a baby shower so early - I was scared to have the cribs purchased and set up - I was hesitant to have things monogrammed - what if something goes wrong? Then I feel guilt and shame for even having feelings of "what if".
("Expect miracles" "patience and persistence" "believe and you shall receive")
so thank you to each and every person who has celebrated both our daughters and have not hesitated to expect these little miracles to be our little survivors. It means more to me than you will ever know.

Poppy said to me...In the grand scheme of things this will be the first of many sacrifices you two will make for your family... And that couldn't be any more true. I immediately thought of my parents and our families and all of the sacrifices everyone has made for me and for Dallas and just thought - ya I guess "resting" for a couple of months won't seem so bad later on :)
Oh but this over analytical mind of mine never "rests"...

So looking forward to my dinner date with my handsome husband tonight. We're staying in ;)

3 weeks, 21 days, 504 hours - but who's counting?!

I am! My OB says the babies look good, and actually pretty big for their gestational age which is great since I will most likely be delivering around 34 weeks- that is if everything continues to go smoothly.

Cheers to 3 weeks inpatient! Sparkling cider, who knew how fun that could be?! I forgot how much I love my stemware! Thank you Holly!

2 nights ago, I barely slept. I could NOT get comfortable. These babies were in positions that were putting so much pressure on me and they felt like 10lb babies! I woke up the next morning (yesterday) and I was thinking my belly looked like it grew another baby or something; I felt huge. My ribs feel bruised from these growing girls that keep kicking their mama! Here's a picture of me from yesterday morning and then this morning. I can't believe how much of a difference I noticed from the way they were positioned. Their new trick is hiccups.  I remember when I was so excited to start feeling them move/kick inside, then I was excited to be able to see & feel their movements from the outside. Now it's feeling their hiccups. I just keep trying to soak in all these milestones and cherish every moment of this pregnancy.  I really can't believe there are 2 baby girls growing inside of me. It truly is a miracle.

Tuesdays with Daddy...
Just some R&R and a little wheelchair ride. Always a good time.

Last but not least, my husband put together the girls' cribs last night! I'm so excited. Just wish I could be there to finish the decorating. Look at my Diesel boy, he's going to be the best big brother!

Happy Fall Y'all!!!

 How handsome is my only son?! I love this pup and his dirty face. I miss them SO much.

Our baby girls are still tracing well on the monitors so we continue to be very thankful for that!

My hubby was finally feeling better and came by first thing this morning which immediately made me feel great. He was able to be here for our first monitor session and hear his baby girls. 

Then my mom and aunt Bobbie came over for lunch and helped move me back into my original room. 3 nights ago they moved me next door to do some re-wiring for their new computer systems and I have felt completely turned around. Every one liked the old room better, including me. So mom and Aunt Bobbie moved me back today so now I'm feeling back to normal. I also got a mani & pedi from my mom today which was great! 

I was able to take another wheelchair ride down stairs. Good day all around. Thanks to my favorite ladies for making my day! Xoxo

Weekend warriors

So normally I have a line up of visitors each day, but as of Thursday night, I didn't have anyone penciled in on Friday or Saturday. But then I got a call from my twin on Friday afternoon (see "Twinning" post if you missed the reference). She was in the area and stopped in for a while and brought me lunch. Must have been that twin intuition people talk about, she knew I needed company ;) She brought me a goodie bag too - which included my favorite - popcorn & bunch a crunch. If you haven't tried this combo - you need to! All of these thoughtful gifts make me feel so special. Again, I have the best friends. 

Then Eva asked to come see me today which was awesome because now I had my visitor line up back :) little did I know that grandma and poppy would come by this morning before heading back home for a little while - they always cheer me up! Then my next surprise was Yoly and my BFF!! Yoly's daughter Alyssa.. She walked in and first thing I noticed were her new starfish earrings, then she gave me a little gift bag which were the matching pair. Love my BFF :) 

                                 

Last night was an emotional night for me. I miss my husband and it was Friday night- I wanted to be anywhere but here. I had a complete meltdown. I guess thats to be expected after a few weeks in captivity. Woke up still feeling gloomy, so when my specialist came in this morning to tell me the girls look "super" --  I guess he picked up on my saddened demeanor. He asked if I was ok and if I'd been off this floor yet- which I haven't. So he wrote me orders for a 30 minute wheelchair privilege. Yay! So my beautiful visitor/nurse for the day brought me down to the courtyard for a little bit. It was hot out, but so nice to get fresh air. All the nurses were so excited for me, it was pretty funny/pitiful.

Eva - you know - Paula Deen, Martha Stewart, & Mother Teresa - brought me my favorite Yankee Candle scent - Apple Pumpkin plug in!! I'm so excited to have my room smell so much like home. Since I can't light any candles, this plug in is the perfect solution! Also some fall colored nail polish and a beautiful sunflower arrangement to brighten my day...

Finally, I came out of the shower this evening and saw a package on my bed from my brother Billy and his family. Aside from all the thoughtful gifts inside, I loved the handwritten notes from my niece and nephew. They are the sweetest, kindest children. I hope that my husband and I will be 1/2 the parents that my brother and sister in law are. Their children are angels. Again, I have the best family.

Tomorrow my momma & aunt Bobbie will be here again. Should be another great day. 

Someone has hiccups tonight, and its not me :) this ought to make for an interesting monitoring session! Thank you to everyone for lifting my spirits again today. You all save me from insanity. I am SO grateful for you all. Xoxo

29 weekers!

We are 29 weeks and our girls are weighing in at a whopping 3lbs each! I am so thrilled to have made it this far with them still growing inside of me. My mental goal for the girls has always been 4lbs and if we keep this behavior up, I don't see why it would be a problem. I'm so proud of them! 

I didn't blog yesterday, but my friend Bill stopped by and brought me lunch and then Leslie came over and brought me this sweet Fall themed basket which included a scented, electric candle-- brilliant!  Leslie has 2 beautiful little girls too so we chatted about a bunch of mommy stuff - I'm part of that club now :) thank you guys! 

Well today has been such an amazing day. I felt like I had another baby shower :)  Yoly came by this morning and brought me back all my laundry that grandma did. I miss our girl time! I received my first little care package at the hospital from the Lennons which included those precious little socks! Our Georgia Flood family sent us McKinley & Addison's chairs that are SO cute and I'm so excited to get home to see them in the nursery! Thank you Aunt Lisa, Uncle Pat, TJ & Kenzie :) Katie came by and brought me a bag FULL of goodies which included this amazing wedge pillow for me to sleep with and these adorable headbands for the girls. I had asked her to bring me more stretch mark cream for my belly to which she replied- I already got it and some other goodies for you. I have the best friends!  My belly bump is stretch mark free- for now. I use about a bottle a day haha
Next up was Donna & Kristin whom brought me the most amazing smelling candle and the stress relief spray to help me sleep at night, and my new diaper bag which I am so in love with! Thank you all so much for making my day today!

Thank you to all my visitors today and everyday who have made each hour so much more enjoyable and my hotel room feel more like home. The girls and I are so blessed to be surrounded by so much love while we are sleeping away from home. I truly can't find the words to express how much all of your thoughtfulness and kindness means to me. How could I not feel happy after days like today?! It's Thanksgiving Thursday here at "the ritz" and we are being served some turkey and stuffing for dinner! There is so much to be thankful for... Nothing but good news to share. Hoping for the same tomorrow. Xoxox

2 weeks in...

First and foremost I would like to wish one of the best friends I have and my unofficial sister in law a VERY happy birthday! For those of you who don't know Eva, you're missing out. She is the most kind hearted, self-less, thoughtful person I know. She loves whole hearted and unconditionally and she's like a combination of Paula Deen, Martha Stewart, and Mother Teresa. I am so lucky that she is in my life. I hope your day is as amazing as you are!

Well, it's been 2 weeks of being locked away. I actually slept for about 5 hours straight last night and I woke up feeling so refreshed.  It is rainy here again today and I just love watching the rain drops hit my window, it's so nice.
But then I met my new nurse for the day. She saw the picture of my puppies hanging in my room and her first comment to me at 7am was..."oh I read that Rottweilers are like one of the most dangerous dog breeds".  Not the way you want to start a conversation with this mama.
So then she comes in to do my monitoring and she had just finished getting me hooked up, and my specialist comes and tells me everything looks great from the girls' heart rate strips. Which thankfully has been his report every morning since I've been here. So then she asked if I want to come off the monitors. Um No? I've only been on for 5 minutes. "Well he said everything looks good today"
Ya lady, but the whole point of me living in the hospital for 2 months is to be on the monitors.
Needless to say... We don't mesh well. Check please! :)


Now off to learn how to play Texas Holdem :) I always win!

Grandma Judy & Papa Ed brought us lunch and visited for a while. :)

Late night library

...That was the clever name of one of the clubs when I was in college. That seems like a million years ago...

How did I get so lucky? I am going to sleep tonight feeling so incredibly full of love and gratitude. We really are the luckiest and most blessed people; I can't get over how sweet and caring everyone is. I just want you all to know that I am so grateful for all of your calls and texts and emails and sweet words of encouragement.

Dal's aunt Lori was in town visiting and stopped in today and brought a little baby shower into my hospital room. Here's a photo of us in our boas :)

And then my Holly came to see me tonight!!! Talk about a MUCH needed girls night. She brought fall into my hotel room and I lover her for this :) the smell of spiced pumpkin, cheese & crackers, sparkling cider and real housewives- what a good night I had :) I can only assume that I am the only mama on this floor with a wine glass in her room- and nothing could make me happier!!!! 

Look up buttercup :) love you!

Another day in paradise

Good morning my faithful followers! Sorry for the delay in posts, everything is fine with the girls! My good and bad days have shifted to good and bad hours of the day, so I thought I would spare you all from a venting session over the weekend. I had wonderful family visitors this weekend- my parents were here on Saturday and my aunt and cousins came on Sunday while my uncle helped Dallas again at home! We are so blessed to have such great families who help us so much.

Had a bit of a breakdown last night. I received my dinner and it was pretty gross and that apparently was the straw that broke the camel's back because the tears just started flowing. We have A LOT going on right now between the move and me and the babies and my hormones lol.  It is so frustrating (I know I keep using this word, but I don't know how else to explain it) that I can't be at our new home seeing everything come together. All I want to do is decorate for fall, light my Apple Pumpkin Yankee candles, and pretend like we have seasons here ;)  You hear about pregnant women that get the urge to start "nesting" - well I think that's part of it all too. What better time to nest than to be pregnant with a new home?! I want to decorate and clean and set up our babies' nursery-- just normal things- but I can't. Every little thing is bothering me in my hospital room.  I want to clean it- the dust on the window blinds is driving me insane. I might ask the cleaning ladies to do that today, I just don't want to seem rude :/

So after a rough night, this morning I wasn't so cute-my eyes were swollen and I didn't feel like getting out of bed early like I normally do. Usually I am presentable and reading my kindle by the time my doctor comes in around 8-830.  Not today. I was still in bed with something over my eyes to block the light.  So my doctor walks in with a little extra pep in his step today and very sarcastically says, "well good morning sunshine!" Ha  

Sometimes this dry, very brilliant man is really funny. 

I'm not sure when my next ultrasound is but it should be soon. I can't wait to see how big the girls are.  It feels like 2 hulk hogans inside me. The pressure and their movements are so intense and they don't make it easy for me to breathe- that's for sure.

Friday the 13th

Nothing much to report, doc says everything looks good with the girls which is such a relief every morning, you can't even imagine. These last couple of days with not much sleep is really wearing on me. Hopefully I will crash soon. I'm on bed rest in this hospital but I really got much more rest when I was at home! I'm pretty anxious and not having control over my own daily routine is really frustrating me. I am missing the normalcy of being home with just my husband and puppies. I was also just informed I won't have AC tonight from 1-7am. Awesome, just what I need.

 Looking outside my window today, I thought how nice it would have been to be sitting somewhere on the water with my husband having my favorite glass of champagne - then I received this amazing delivery of my second favorite thing from the Lucas family... Delicious fresh fruit and literally the best chocolate covered strawberries/bananas/apples I've ever had. THANK YOU Nicki & Steven, you made my day-- the girls loved it too :)
Look how pretty...

Hope everyone has a nice, safe weekend! Have some champs for me :)

28 weeks!

We are 28 weeks today and very happy our girls are still cooking!  The cleaning lady from the hospital came in my room today and said "your belly is big" haha thanks for the reminder. The bigger the better here! Keep on growing babies and I'll blame my size on the steroids ;)

On another note- look at all these faces I'm missing so much at home. My heart doesn't feel as full being away from my family. I miss all their love and kisses. Diesel is dadda's big baby for sure. 

My beautiful Yoly came by today. I miss my friend :( this woman saved my life in Loxahatchee and has been the best friend I could ask for. She's also the reason my Christmas cards turn out so well :) best photographer around! Too bad she couldn't photoshop my 2nd chin out of this image. Love you!

And here's a shot with my 2 angels on earth! Poppy & Grandma (from Dal's side - but I'm blessed to call them my family now) these 2 generous and self-less people are the reason we are surviving right now. They have packed our entire old house and moved us into the new one. I can't even begin to list the amount of work they have done for us over the last month. They take care of my hubby and puppies for me and are spoiling them like crazy! Their hearts are bigger than anyone's you will ever meet and I could never thank them enough for all of their love, support, and dedication to our family.

Look how cute my last little visitor was... Thank you for the beautiful gifts Yohana xoxoxo

This is one tired mama...thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. We are so appreciative of you all.  I HAVE GOT TO GET SOME REST. goodnight!

Twinning

Wasn't planning on posting anything today because I've been sort of a grouch :) didn't get much sleep last night so I thought today would be the perfect afternoon for napping on this rainy day. But apparently they've had a lot of deliveries between last night and this morning so the floor has been loud and busy all day with non stop nurse calls over the intercom -which I can't control the volume on -so napping just didn't work out.  Saw my specialist this morning and he said everything still looks great. I'm so happy with my girls. Baby A was a little giddy today so we had to put a pillow case in between the monitor & strap in order to put more pressure on the monitor & hear her heart a little better. Oh these contraptions...

Baby B was on a mission again today. Earlier this morning I didn't feel them moving around like I usually do so I was anxious to get on the monitors and hear those heart beats. So of course, as soon as we got her on the monitor she threw a fit and was kicking and moving all over the place. The nurses need a steady hour of both babies' heartbeats tracing on the monitors for my doctors. So after an hour and a half, and 2 nurses trying to get her locked in, we surrendered and tried again after lunch. I just had to hold the monitor down and follow her a little as she tried to escape but I was able to keep her on it for the most part. My wild child :) my OB stopped by while they were on the monitors and she was like "wow are they always this active?" I'm like oh you have no idea... Hopefully they are just staying out of the way of their cords. Lets see if this video will work...

I had a surprise visitor tonight - my twin! Katie and I met in high school and figured out we were born on the same day, in the same hospital, 2 hours apart. We were roommates all through college and we've always called each other twin- oh the irony now :) I'm so excited for her to move closer to us.  Not only is she beautiful but she is a smart little cookie- she is a physicians assistant and accepted a job up here closer to where we live.

Now the challenge is finding a place for her to live that will accept my nephew, Harley. Seriously who wouldn't want this face?! I do!!!